LANA SINGS THE WORLD ON FIRE

What sets off the apocalypse? We haven’t 

translated the Bible in so long, I don’t know 

if horsemen are now Robert Kardashian’s kids, 

helping keep the guilty alive and wealthy, the poor 

stuck in jail for pot. I could try something clever, 

some fake etymology, “whore’s men,” but you 

and I know it’s a stretch at best, at worst, living proof 

I should not be writing about serious trouble.  

Trouble, though, is all there is, 

when suddenly you are on an island, and it is engulfed, 

one side with flames, one with water, and choose— 

which death do you want? Somehow you know 

the water is flame retardant. You will burn or drown.  

But Lana Del Rey, she says, if this is it, well 

it was fun and she’s signing off, but I’ve learned 

the ends of her songs are often high-noted lies, 

whispered over her string torch vocals. How can we trust 

when she says she’s unplugging, but wait—the livestream— 

                     it’s almost on. 

                                           —Twice this week, 

I have had people I love beg me to take care of myself 

And I don’t know why those messages don’t click 

the way they should: I can see through thick glass 

that means these people love me back, but sometimes worry, 

that’s the only way we know how to love each other.  

Is that love? It is, isn’t it? 

This is it: world wide, people are learning how to pretend 

they still hope and that there’s a prayer someone 

will love them the way they want and need to be loved 

even though we are so far from ever being good enough.  

And I am embarrassed of how long it has been since 

I bared my teeth, full of blood, and really allowed 

the animal in me some space to breathe. I ache 

in every worthless muscle, trying to be a conduit 

for the people around me. Am I happy? 

Who cares. At least I can say I’m not sad. But Lana, 

if you are out there: I’m listening for our new horsemen.  

I think the fourth rider is the livestream. I think the clock is counting 

the seconds until we watch the world go up in flames—